This area is not limited to remarks actually made, but here is the one I said last week:
"OK guys, then lets go do drugs instead!"
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thirdmoth |
Smart Alec Remark Arsenal |
Lead | |
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This area is to put smart-alec remarks for officers who have nothing better to do that stop our healthy and wholesome entertainment of street hockey at emerson school. They do this because #1 it is against the law to rollerblade on school property (it might corrrupt the youth) and #2 all city parks ann schools close at 10:00pm (so the drug dealers have nobody to see them do their thing.)
This area is not limited to remarks actually made, but here is the one I said last week: "OK guys, then lets go do drugs instead!" |
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Katana of Craab |
Re: Smart Alec Remark Arsenal | ||
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I think something like
"You are new here, aren't you?" or "You're not from around here are you officer?" Cause if he/she wasn't new and he/she was from here he/she would know about the eight plus years we have been playing at Emerson. |
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catalyst09 |
Re: Smart Alec Remark Arsenal | ||
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uhhh...have you ever been to my neighborhood, officer? i bet there's a lot more for you to do over there.
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The Mighty CraabQUINNox |
Re: Smart Alec Remark Arsenal | ||
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Uuuh...you're stupid.
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The Mighty CraabQUINNox |
Re: Smart Alec Remark Arsenal | ||
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Do you have any idea who you're talkin' to mister? Now get out of here or you'll be checking parking meters for the rest of your gosh-forsaken life.
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Unregistered(d) |
the officer did whhaaa? | ||
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i, having left early for a very exciting 80's dance, seem to have missed some of the goings on that night.
...so, what happened? |
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The Ryth |
Re: the officer did whhaaa? | ||
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The Following is the Steve Cransmell 5 step plan for making sure we are never kicked off the court again.
Step 1: make sure Josh is there the night the plan is to be set into motion. Step 2: Make Josh play with one of the really old stick that are in the back of my truck Step 3: Add one officer Step 4: Wait until the Officer has said his shpeal and is waiting for us to leave. Step 5: Enter Josh: <in a nearly inaudible whisper> "When I was thirteen, <getting louder> I wanted to try swimming <face begins to redden> But they shut the pool down for resurfaceing. <louder> When I was 15 I wanted to try basketball, <almost yelling> but the PTO shut the program down for that year because a kid broke his ankle the season before <face continues to darken and voice continues to rise>. When I was 16 I wanted to play paint pellets, but the legislature had passed a gun control law that shut down paintpellet fields for 6 months. <face is now nearly purple and jaw is rattling back and forth as entire crainium quivers with rage> ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY SOME SORT OF SPORT WITH MY FRIENDS!! <The brunsdales windows are shaking> BUT YOU!! YOU HAVE NOW TAKEN THIS <Breaks hockey stick over knee (shows no pain)> EVEN THIS, MY MOST FAVORITE SPORT IN THE WHOLE WORLD AWAY FROM ME!!! <doubles up the broken pieces of the hockey stick and breaks them again (still no pain)>. CRIMINALS RUN RAMPANT IN THE STREETS, DRUGS FLOW LIKE WARM HONEY THROUGH OUR NEIGHBORHOODS, BUT RATHER THAN WORRYING ABOUT THAT, YOU <breaks all four 8 inch lengths of his hockey stick>, YOU!!! HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO STOP AND HARRASE A GROUP OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS WHO WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO RELAX FOR ONE FRIGGIN NIGHT AND PLAY HOCKEY ON A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP ASSPHALT HOCKEY COURT THAT ISN'T WORTH THE TIME THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT WORKERS PUT INTO MAKING IT. <throws the pieces of his stick into the air and lets an inhuman screech out into the night sky>. <voice returns to a whisper as Josh slowly advances on the officer> But you know what? You know what? <finger is held aloft, it too quivering> It was good enough for us. We didn't complain. We didn't complain at all that there is nowhere for us to play in this whole, corrupt, underfunded, hot city. Instead we made do. <now stops advancing on the officer and looks him up and down> We're going to leave now, but before we do, I want to ask you to do me one favor. The next time you find yourself approaching a vehicle full of gun-weilding gangsters, or having to storm a crack house, or do any of the hundreds of dangerous parts of your job, I want you to think about how much you would rather take all the would-be criminals in this city and give them a place to play games, play sports, or maybe just socialize. How you'd rather provide a hundred things for them to do so that you don't have to risk your neck again, because just a few of them chose athleticism over crime. And when you think how nice that would be, I want you to think about tonight when you kicked a bunch of honest kids off their court, and into the night. Think about that, and then wonder, everytime you lock another kid up, if it was one of us. <Kneels down and removes skates, throws them into the sand. Turns and walks slowly away without a backward glance as the theme to Braveheart slowly begins to echoe and reechoe in the distance.> |
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The Mighty CraabQUINNox |
Re: the officer did whhaaa? | ||
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Can Josh's knees take all that beating?
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Unregistered(d) |
no worries, mate | ||
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i really think that the only reason an officer bothered our small group of rollerhockeyers is that westwood's homecoming game just let out and police were patroling everywhere trying to clear the school grounds of people.
i think back to a time that i was a student at asu. i was rollerblading there one night as the number one member of the blade devils--asu's inline skating club. and i was rollerblading there, waiting to meet some friends, and dps officers were patroling the malls on dps motorcycles. phantom of the opera was currently playing at gammage that night, and the tight, retentive anxieties of an otherwise easy going officer were perked so much that the officer saw it wise to give me a ticket for rollerblading. rollerblading isn't really illegal, so he called it trespassing and loitering. a charge that was later expunged by reasonable judge. but really i was just there on a bad night to be there. a lot like you guys were after i left, just bad timing; i mean, when have we ever been bothered by mesa's finest before? |
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The Ryth |
Re: no worries, mate | ||
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Years upon years, eons upon eons, times a million and you would still not be close to how long we have been bothered by mesa's finest. The conflict is old and bitter.
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Katana of Craab |
Re: no worries, mate | ||
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thirdmoth |
Kicked | ||
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Plik, just so you know, we have played hockey there for about 8 years and have been kicked off the court by the police for about 4.
If I could make those little craabs appear I would also give Steve's comments four craabs. Cop: "I suggest you find a better place to do this." Law Abiding Hockey Player: "No, I'm a skunk." |
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Unregistered(d) |
plik's idea of rollerhockey bliss | ||
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an idea that i am totally prepaired and willing to do:
i suggest that we fight the bully with jelly sandwiches. specifically, i think we should patron our local army surplus store and each purchase a police shirt (one of those navy blue t-shirts with police on both sides in yellow lettering) and we could wear it while playing hockey. better yet, we could have a few police shirts and a few mesa fire dept. shirts, and use them to distinguish teams. that would blow them away next time they harrassed us. that, and has anyone thought of contacting the principal of emerson to ask permission? there was this rollerhockey rink near asu that i got permission to play at a few years ago (they've since teared it down), but what us blade devils did is get permission by writing up legal waivers that we all signed. i'm thinking that they would most likely say no if we mentioned that we played late at night, but we could go to the school and mention that we all live down the in the neighborhood and are emerson alumni. we could leave out the "late at night" part and at least get some verbal permission from someone for the sole purpose of being able to say, "well, we have permission to play here by the school administration." i really don't think that the police could verify that even if they cared enough to do so. i mean, we could just say to the principal that we play on saturdays sometimes and that we're all willing to sign an injury waiver just so that he/she will say that it's okay with him/her incase anyone asks--that's all. but what leverage it would be next time we get asked to leave. i mean, we don't even need it in writing, we just need a name to drop in the conversation. "oh well, principal meowmeowmeow gave us permission to play here, we even signed a legal waiver [show waiver signed by all], so you see officer bob, it's time you went on your jolly way." *shrug* |
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The Mighty CraabQUINNox |
Re: plik's idea of rollerhockey bliss | ||
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I think it's more fun to just think up smart alec remarks.
"Hey mister, where's you get the fancy car? Hey mister, where'd you get the shiny badge? Hey mister, look! There goes Osama bin Laden! Hey mister, why don't you go chase him?" |
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Katana of Craab |
Re: plik's idea of rollerhockey bliss | ||
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The funny thing is that we did all the things you have suggested Mike. There was a point where Steve was in contact with the school board, and sure enough the police raids stopped. Then two years later the Nights of Lighting* begin again.
*A Bone Reference |
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thirdmoth |
Tanagra | ||
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Officer: I suggest you find a better place to do this.
Hockey Player: Darmac at Tanagra! Temba, his hands wide! Kailash! When it rises! Mirab, his sails unfurled!* (or we all learn enough russian to sound like we don't speak english. or polish. or german.) *This was one of my all time favorite star treks, where they encounter a race that only speaks meaphore. Here's more info: Tanagra |
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The Mighty CraabQUINNox |
Re: Tanagra | ||
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I say we make like Braveheart and moon them all. In fact let's start wearing kilts and since you never know, we'll moon every car that passes us! Since being here in Scotland I've learned about how much fun we've been missing out on! Yeas? Nays?
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